My Suicide Plan (which is fiction…not real and will not happen..this is creative writing) (note if you will) this was in my drafts..i never pubished it…lol..now almost 2 years later i just decided to publish it..but will not act on it…it’s just another expression of my heart (from 2 years ago)

satan says nobody loves me

satan says nobody loves me

Since I have decided that my son and his family would be better off and FREE without me around and since I am just taking up space and using Government Funds to survive, some people who do not understand will be glad to know that I will be not needing them anymore.  I plan on taking out the most expensive life insurance policy I can…saving up at least 6 of my SSI checks so my son will have that money to bury me and hopefully if it looks like someone killed me then maybe he will get the life insurance policy.  At any rate he will get the cash cause once I cash the checks I will hide them away in a place that I will disclose to him on the day before I die.I will text him to look for a surprise in one of my Bibles for something I have been saving for him /my funeral I will dress myself in some type of pajamas and fill the tub with my favorite most expensive bath salts and bubbles.  I will take as many as possible Lorezepam, maybe 90 of the .5 so that is really only 45 whole ones, probably just enough to put me to sleep. i will them find the sharpest razors I can and slit the wrists at the vein where they can bleed out into the tub.  I will settle my tired laden head onto the back of the tub and relax in the bubbles warmth will encompass me and I will wake up on the other side.   Alistair Beg says that if you are a Christian and you just cannot go on and you go to your death loving the Lord and asking Him for His will in all this and if you have forgiven all you accusers and yourself and if you believe Christ died for you and you are saved that yes, even in suicide you will go to heaven.  So yes, this is my plan and I am not sure when but I want to do it soon, probably before my next birthday..that is 6 months from now…so there is the 6 checks.  I am sorry I could not be a better person or perform some kind of a miraculous recovery from depression.  I just want to lie down under a tree and have the Lord take me on a nice Summer day, but that has not happened so this is the only way I know.  Please do not cry for me as you are finally free from me.  maybe you WILL see me again.  Maybe I am in Heaven.  I should be.  According to Alistair Begs I am in heaven now.if i should die before i wake

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About godslittlekitty

Just a simple, single mom to a 24 1/2 yr. old son, who has now 4 year old son, (my only grandson). I love the Lord because He first loved me. I am reborn and redeemed. (Feb 5 2016)
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One Response to My Suicide Plan (which is fiction…not real and will not happen..this is creative writing) (note if you will) this was in my drafts..i never pubished it…lol..now almost 2 years later i just decided to publish it..but will not act on it…it’s just another expression of my heart (from 2 years ago)

  1. Pingback: My Suicide Plan (note if you will) this was in my drafts..i never pubished it…lol..now almost 2 years later i just decided to publish it..but will not act on it…it’s just another expression of my heart (from 2 years ago) | godslittlekitt

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